HOW TO LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY

Love is expressed as an action and experienced as a feeling. Yet, love has an essence that resists defining in any single way — it encompasses compassion, determination, tolerance, endurance, support, faith, and much more. If you're in the dark about how to love, this article should give you some food for thought, and perhaps teach you a little bit about how to love yourself, love the world, and love other people just a little bit more.

Accept your past: If you’ve been hurt in the past, you really need to begin to cope with that feeling before you can love someone else. You may feel that things you did in the past will make you unlovable, or that you have too many problems to be lovable. Maybe you feel that because your past relationships failed, all others are doomed to fail as well. But this is not the case and you should never feel for a moment that what has happened to you before will keep you from being happy now. Accept the things that happened to you, forgive, and move on.

Get rid of the list: You know the list: that compendium of requirements that a potential partner or friend must meet, kept in your head or even written down. Yeah, get rid of that. Recognize that by keeping such a list, you’re creating the person you want to be with, rather than meeting the person you’re meant to be with. Real people don’t fit in boxes. You can certainly keep in mind qualities that you want a person to have, but don’t require someone to meet all of them and make sure you’ve got your priorities in order.

Reconsider your priorities: If you’re putting a nice butt before a stable personality, you’re going to have a really tough time in relationships. Same goes for things like valuing friends who get you into the best clubs over friends who’ll hold your hair back while you puke. Take those items from your list (discussed above) and separate them out into wants vs needs. Then take a hard look at why you prioritize the things you do.

Open yourself to new possibilities: Once you’ve given some hard thought to what really matters to you in your relationships, take another look at the people around you and the people that you meet every day. Maybe people you’d previously dismissed will suddenly seem okay. You’ll find...potential. And that’s all you need to start with. Potential may not feel like love at first sight, but it can grow into the most beautiful and stable love you’ve experienced.

Love yourself: Before loving anyone else, you have to love yourself. This is important on so many levels. It will show you how to experience love, it will send a message to people you love that you are worth loving in return, and it will make you a better lover because you will not be hindered by self-doubt and confidence issues.

    If you have problems loving yourself, then change yourself. Build your self confidence by doing something wonderful and being a better person. Conquer all of your bad habits that make you self-conscious. Just don’t expect to make yourself into the perfect person, because perfect people do not exist.



Have something to offer others: When you go to start a relationship, be it romantic or platonic, you’ll want to be sure that you bring something to that relationship. Having nothing to offer will give you and probably the other person the sense that you are a leech. Work on giving as much as you take, in all your relationships, and you’ll be set for success.

Be vulnerable: Unfortunately, loving someone means that they can hurt you. This is normal and okay (and almost inevitable). But if you want to have real love, you need to allow yourself to open with that person. Don’t keep secrets from them, don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t, but instead give them the opportunity to know the real you.

Give it time: Don’t force love and don’t try to speed it up. This will only create false feelings which drain you emotionally and leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied. You can’t rush love. But believe that it will come because it most certainly will. You just have to find the right person.